Monthly Archives: June 2010

Friends of All Ages

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For most of my life, my best friends have been older than me. As a highschool freshman, I hung out with the seniors, and then the next class of seniors until I was a senior myself and somewhat alone.  All of the men I have dated have been older than me, the oldest as much as 26 years older. So it was with some amount of surprise that I realized for the first time in my life I have as many friends who are younger than me as I do who are older than me. This, I realized, is because I am getting older, so the younger than me isn’t that young anymore!

Sometimes hanging out with a younger crowd has some amusing gaps in reference points. I came back into the room where Darrow (age 18) and Lil’ Trish (age 16) were sitting, looking through my records.

“Tell me these aren’t what I think they are,” said Darrow.

“Records?” I said not sure if that was what he was referring to.

“No, I mean these aren’t 40s?”

“They’re 45s,” I said, smiling.

“Aren’t those the big ones?”

“No, those are 33s.” This was amusing.

“Oh I said 31s or something.”

“Why don’t you sell them? Lil’ Trish asked. “Who has these? I’d be getting on e-bay.”

“Because I listen to them,” I explained.

“On what?” she looked around the room.

“On that.” I pointed.

“Oh I thought that was a suitcase.”

“It’s. My. Fisher Price. Record Player. From when I was a kid.” Amusing could turn to annoying rather quickly.

“Damn, Sarah, you are old.”

Thank you.

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G’night Trev (14 October 1962 – 7 June 2003)

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I have been thinking so much of my friend Trevor lately.  I realize now it was my subconscious reminding me that he died around this time seven years ago.

Trevor Goddard was an actor perhaps best known for his portrayal of Royal Australian Navy lawyer Mick Brumby in the TV series JAG. He also played Kano in Mortal Kombat. His last role was a bit part in Pirates of the Caribbean 2. I wrote Trevor a letter in 1999 because I appreciated his portrayal of the very gray Cmndr Brumby as opposed to the black and white hero types. Some fans actually seemed to dislike the actor when Goddard’s character hooked up with Catherine Belle’s character whom they thought should be with David James Eliot’s character. I wanted to let Trevor know there were people who could still make the distinction between actor and character and that his nuanced portrayal of a complex character was appreciated.

To my surprise he wrote me back. He even asked questions about my life. I wrote him back with the answers. This time I also included my email address and our correspondence began in earnest. It became a regular thing for me to get back to my dorm room from class and chat with Trevor on AIM. I would tell him about my classes, and about my hopes and dreams.He would update me on new jobs, how his day went, things he hoped to accomplish. He always encouraged me to follow my dreams.

I will never forget the night that Trevor called me from a pay phone of some dive bar. I was fast asleep when he called and if I hadn’t talked to him on instant messenger the next day and confirmed it, I’d have thought I dreamt the whole thing. I remember he said he was playing pool and I asked if he was winning. This didn’t seem to be the response he’d expected and he emitted a short laugh of surprise.  It was always like that with us, never knowing what the other one would say.  He asked me if I wanted to go back to sleep and I said yes, and did. Whenever we talked to each other before bed we’d end our exchange with G’night, and, sweet dreams. I hope the place Trevor is now is like a sweet dream.

G’night Trev

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